The Satanic Supplement

Anthropomorphism,n. Assumption that animals kill one another from sadism rather than hunger.

Cohabitation,n. Mutual intrusion in return for help with the rent.

Depraved,adj. Blatantly and brazenly lacking in those neurotic inhibitions which you have been pleased to embrace instead of something warmer.

Introgulate,v.i. To converse entirely, and thus usually unprofitably, in questions.
"My psychiatrist always answers questions with questions. I don't know where these constant introgulations are supposed to get us."
Pniggley Stropster

Money,n. The root of all evil; hence the priestly stipend and the Sunday collection plate.

Newspaper,n. A bundle of lies and irrelevances interspersed with exaggerations and half-truths. The half-truths are no fault of the reporters or editors, and are present solely because of the rigorous standards of veracity which the law imposes on advertisers.

Obeisance,n. The act of grovelling in a manner consistent with one's personal dignity and sense of moral uprightness.

Personal,adj. The motivation for most non-military murders. Military murders are done for money, which is a motive both impersonal and honourable.

Relationship,n. The period of time it takes to realise that your partner's definition of relationship is more than tolerably inferior to your own.

Spiritual,adj. Descriptive of any emotional experience sanctified by faith and made piquant by megalomania.