News 2020

Nation united in grief and resolution

The nation was united in mourning today as a ceremony of remembrance was held for the victims of the last three terrorist bombs to terrorise terrorised Londoners with terroristic terror.

The two Provisional Archbishops of Canterbury gave simultaneous sermons of equivalent length and volume to a packed audience in the newly consecrated Murdoch wing of Westminster Abbey.

Many members of both congregations were wearing poppies, in memory of the members of Britain's armed forces who have been killed defending the free market in Afghanistan.

Dr Lionel Marmaduke Lilliwhyte told the liberal congregation that God loved victims of terrorism and that friends and relatives might indulge their grief without undue offence to Christian morality.

In any case, Dr Lilliwhyte said, the whole British nation was united in grief and resolution.

The Reverend Jebediah Icke told the evangelical congregation that the victims were sitting on Jesus' right hand and that God would help the forces of freedom strike down the forces of evil, terrorism and homosexuality.

In any case, said the Reverend Icke, the whole British nation was united in grief and resolution.

The lesson was read by the Prime Minister, who said afterwards that the ceremony showed that the British nation was united in grief and resolution.

Almost a million people in Britain are members of the Church of England, including nearly a thousand people under fifty and the Prime Minister.