Straw Stands Firm

One of George Bush's lesser spokesmen today presented the world with his idea of how long it will take before British troops can be permitted to stop dying for the Texas draft-dodger. It would, he hoped, be "a matter of a very limited number of years".

Straw compared the situation in Iraq to that "after the war in Europe", which started when a powerful country invaded a weak one over a fictitious grievance; and to the joyous labour of "building up stable nations from the collapse of the Soviet Union", where the analogy escapes me. He also instructed his audience to "look at Afghanistan" which, as everyone knows, is now a byword for stability, democracy and hope for the future. His audience included the parents of several expended British military assets, who were doubtless deeply impressed.

Straw was speaking on Newsnight, the flagship news programme of the broadcasting corporation which is even now renegotiating its license fee with the British government. Coincidentally, a representative of an Iraqi political party was present to warn the Foreign Secretary of the dangers of letting the natives tell their masters what to do: "If you put it in the hands of the government, they will ask you to stay there for 20 years, because they want you to fight other sections of Iraqi society," he told Mr Straw. Subtle folk, the Arabs.

However, with his usual fine comic touch, Straw reassured us that troops would continue to be blown up for George "until local authorities were ready to take over responsibility for security" and "assuming the United Nations mandate for the deployment is renewed". Don't blame poor Jacky for your soldier-boy's demise - it's all the responsibility of the UN and the Iraqis. It's hardly our fault if, as one British expendable said, Iraqis' "primary loyalties were to their tribe and religious leaders" rather than to the state set up by glorious liberators who, so far, have killed over a hundred thousand of them and starved half a million of their children to death. Besides, surely no one would want Bush and Blair to abandon their moral responsibilities without proper authorisation under international law.

Small chance of that. The government's position is that British troops will remain in Iraq "as long as necessary", and will not be pulled out while the instability caused by their presence continues.