The Satanic Supplement

Confidence,n. Invested foolhardiness.

Dear,adj. Not cheap, hence beloved.

Educate,v.t. To provide a child with enough social skills to get through a job interview and a sufficient degree of literacy to apply for a credit card.

Face,n. A mask of meat and dust through which the larynx lies and behind which the skeleton grins.

Gimmick,n. A sign in the window of a business establishment, promising no gimmicks.

Intestines,n.pl. Organs of digestion and moral fortitude, useful alike in war and peace.
A soldier exclaimed, "War is Hell!
And when I get back I shall tell
Those at home to make haste
And protest at this waste."
Then his guts were blown out by a shell.
Rev. Wibley Beamish

Marketing,n. The honourable trade and profession of co-respondent in the amicable divorce between a fool and his money.

Orchestrate,v.t. To organise a group of people into harmonic co-operation, frequently by stringing them along in the service of a base fiddle.

Rhombulent,adj. In the act of turning into a parallelogram.
The square deal the Government promised is looking distinctly rhombulent.
Hansard

Tribalism,n. The patriotism of the uncivilised, consisting in a fanatical and unreasoning attachment to the people of one’s own extended family or clan, rather than that deep and abiding reverence for the noble traditions evolved and fossilised several centuries before one’s own birth which is the mark of a genuinely elevated culture.