The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

News 2020

Iraqis defiant as trial continues

The process of justice in the Democratic Republic of Baghdad continues this week with the continuation of the trial of seventeen former dictatorship facilitation operatives.

The men, who have been on trial for twelve and a half years, are charged with war crimes, crimes against humanity, malicious use of British-made body belts and shackles in a manner not specified on the packaging, and having their indefatigability saluted by a political undesirable.

The men, who have been defiant throughout the trial, were defiant again today as the court attempted to restrain their defiance. Wearing suits and beards, the men defied the court repeatedly. Their voices, stances and words were described by analysts as "defiant".

If found guilty, the men could suffer capital punishment, as the US-British democratising authorities have not yet been able to persuade the natives to relinquish their customary attachment to the death penalty.

"We're running advertisements pleading for clemency every half hour throughout the trial," said Brayer Gurble of Hallibechtel Redemption Services, the felon containment company which is expected to pick up the contract for the men's prison sentence in the event of civilised influences prevailing over a guilty verdict.

The trial is being broadcast by FoxDad, the Democratic Republic's independent news channel, with a twenty-minute time delay to ensure that no displays of defiance are permitted to interfere with the pleasure and edification of the viewing public.

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