The Satanic Supplement

Brute,n. A human being behaving like an animal behaving like a human being.

Doable,adj. Possible for the illiterate.

Garnish,v.t. To decorate the grave of a culinary holocaust.

Hell,n. The poorer of the two available hotels in town, being the one with more residents and less favourable publicity.

Mercy,n. Quality which, as a certain Shakespeare once put it, droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven. Since his time, of course, global warming has increased the prevalence of drought.

Numeral,n. Sign placed after the title of certain films, denoting to the expert the degree of their artistic merit and lasting value to the world.

Opticle,n. A pad of fat bulging from the bottom of an eye socket; an overloaded bag.
The smile spread like a plague over his face, his eyeballs vanishing whole inside his insatiable opticles.
Vibbler Zeets

Pathetic Fallacy,n. The vice of attributing anthropomorphic sentiments to the lifeless and inanimate, e.g. the belief that political ambition can be moved for humanitarian ends.

Requisition,v.t. The privilege, accorded armed forces in wartime, of looting their own country.

Stoical,adj. Manifesting a heroic indifference to the suffering of others.