The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, September 30, 2005

News 2020

Foreign Secretary "bearing up" after eye assault

The Foreign Secretary narrowly escaped "lasting emotional damage" yesterday as his speech to the NuLibLab Conference was interrupted from the floor, according to sources of information with access to information.

The Foreign Secretary was in the process of clarifying the situation in the Middle East when a member of the audience blinked rapidly in what witnesses said was a blatant and ostentatious display of disbelief.

Although the disruptive element was rapidly removed under the Freedom of Speech Act, the Foreign Secretary was clearly disturbed by the incident and its implications for public attitudes to the war against horribility the world over.

The unprecedented display of eyeliddery came as the Foreign Secretary mentioned the success of the latest free elections in the Democratic Republic of Baghdad, and paid tribute to the contribution of British troops to the recent Operation Voter Incentive.

Sources close to the Foreign Secretary later said he had been "deeply hurt" by the ocular assault but was "bearing up bravely". He was able to finish his speech, but left the podium after only three minutes of the customary standing ovation.

The incident has once more opened up the question of security at political events. The Prime Minister is said to be "deeply concerned" that anyone capable of expressing scepticism should have been allowed into the conference hall.

Only two days ago, the Prime Minister made a forceful speech emphasising the right of law-abiding citizens to be protected from all harm, even if it meant imposing a nationwide six o'clock curfew and employing a possibly controversial shoot-to-kill policy against potential binge drinkers.

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