News 2020
Chimpanzees officially extinct in the wild
The last remaining chimpanzee resources existing in the wild have been destroyed by non-westernised Africans, scientists announced today.
The killings mean that chimps have followed the gorilla, orang-utan and bonobo into extinction or near-extinction, though it is possible that some individual apes may still survive in illegal private collections.
The chimpanzee tribe is thought to have been slaughtered for its meat, which is a delicacy among globalisation-resistant elements of the African population.
"This unfortunate event is yet another indication of the poverty and ignorance which can result from an anti-globalisation stance," said British minister of biodiversity Logger Swivey.
"We must take every biodiversificatory capacitance enhancement measure possible in the present economic climate to prevent this happening again unless the demands of necessity and honour make it unavoidable," Mr Swivey said.
The US Commander-in-Chief was reported to be "saddened" at the death of the chimpanzees. "Despite the fact that evolution has been largely discredibilitised as being only a theory, I definitely feel as if I have lost a close predecessor," he said.
He also condemned the killing of the apes on economic grounds. "The demand for these resources clearly outstripped supply, and therefore the supply should not have been interfered with," he said.
But he expressed confidence that, should a new chimpanzee species be required, market forces would ensure the fulfilment of the need.
The last remaining chimpanzee resources existing in the wild have been destroyed by non-westernised Africans, scientists announced today.
The killings mean that chimps have followed the gorilla, orang-utan and bonobo into extinction or near-extinction, though it is possible that some individual apes may still survive in illegal private collections.
The chimpanzee tribe is thought to have been slaughtered for its meat, which is a delicacy among globalisation-resistant elements of the African population.
"This unfortunate event is yet another indication of the poverty and ignorance which can result from an anti-globalisation stance," said British minister of biodiversity Logger Swivey.
"We must take every biodiversificatory capacitance enhancement measure possible in the present economic climate to prevent this happening again unless the demands of necessity and honour make it unavoidable," Mr Swivey said.
The US Commander-in-Chief was reported to be "saddened" at the death of the chimpanzees. "Despite the fact that evolution has been largely discredibilitised as being only a theory, I definitely feel as if I have lost a close predecessor," he said.
He also condemned the killing of the apes on economic grounds. "The demand for these resources clearly outstripped supply, and therefore the supply should not have been interfered with," he said.
But he expressed confidence that, should a new chimpanzee species be required, market forces would ensure the fulfilment of the need.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home