The Satanic Supplement

Bupsle,n.coll. A group of large middle-aged women.
A gaggle of schoolgirls, a bevy of beauties, a bupsle of matrons.
Vingle Skogg

Car,n. Smallest discrete unit of a traffic jam. The palace of machismo and the cradle of road rage. A humble transistor in the supercomputer of petrol-powered climate change.

Fidelity,n. Property which used to distinguish some human beings, but has recently become the exclusive domain of electronic recordings.

Honour,n. The sins which one has money to conceal.
His Honour Lord Richard of Bast
On a holiday cruise breathed his last;
For from the dark water
Arose the small daughter
He'd drowned there some fifty years past.
Rev. Wibley Beamish

Louse,n. A charming little creature, of which the best-known species are perhaps the woodlouse, which inhabits rotten wood, and the hair louse, which inhabits the human head. They are said to be unrelated.

O.B.E.abbr. Order of the British Empire. A deplorable instance of the inveterate British tendency to snipe at and undercut national heroes; in this case by "honouring" them in the name of a recently extinct instrument of mass immiseration.

Phallic,adj. In popular parlance, the same shape as an airliner, a guided missile or a pencil. Therefore, symbolic of the triumph of romantic fiction over truth.

Testimony,n. Any series of falsehoods which is distinguished from the common ruck by having the privilege to be told in a court of law.

Xenophobe,n. A patriot who has failed to exercise the necessary good taste in his choice of patria.