The Robertson Clarification

That good and holy man, the Reverend Robertson, has received instructions from on high; though whether they came in the form of a divine wind blowing through the stale air in his cranium or in the form of a short, sharp phone call from Crawford, Texas, I'm sure I wouldn't care to say.

The Reverend has offered a clarification of his fatwa of death and/or kidnapping against the elected president of Venezuela. "Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him." This is certainly understandable. If a man thinks you are out to kill him, the last thing you want to do is accommodate the bastard.

Chavez, it appears, "has found common cause with terrorists such as the noted assassin Carlos the Jackal, has visited Iran reportedly to gain access to nuclear technology, and has referred to Saddam Hussein and Fidel Castro as his comrades." Well, if that doesn't prove the existence of the Muslim-Marxist conspiracy to take over the continent, I don't know what will. Meanwhile, I hear evil whispers in my left ear that the word reportedly was inserted by Robertson's lawyers at the last moment.

Robertson is a person who believes in peace, but not peace at any price. The question of how he reconciles this with turning the other cheek, as his Saviour supposedly commanded, must be left to more experienced theologians than myself. He "said before the war in Iraq began that the wisest course would be to wage war against Saddam Hussein, not the whole nation of Iraq." Contrary to the obvious truth that the Iraq insurgency is the work of a minority of Ba'athist leftovers, evil Islamists and foreign fanatics, Robertson implies that America has found itself "locked in [a] bitter struggle with a whole nation". I hear evil whispers in my left ear that Robertson may soon have to clarify that statement as well.

Robertson refers to Chavez as a dictator comparable to Saddam Hussein. Whether or not he is a dictator, Chavez certainly has a couple of traits in common with the unhappy ex-US ally. Like Saddam Hussein, Chavez is "controlling a huge pool of oil", something Robertson mentions; and, also like Saddam Hussein, Chavez does not have any weapons of mass destruction, something Robertson does not mention. I hear evil whispers - but no. Apage Satanas!