News 2020
New measures to ease investor disgruntlement
The Confabulation of Business Interests has ordered the Government to take "urgent action" to ease negative shareholder welfare caused by human resource attrition in companies whose employees are permitted to work more than seventy-five hours a week.
"Human resource opportunification has never been at a higher level, yet the country is suffering a middle management crisis of unprecedented proportions," said CBI chairperson Nigel Feasting-Piranha today.
Some disputed studies have claimed to show that longer working hours and lack of government interference in business affairs (what used to be termed "job security" in a previous century) has the potential to cause human resource fatigue.
If left unchecked, this trend could result in an unhealthy trend, according to some pressure groups, whose conclusions are disputed.
The Government's social beautification spokesperson, Waynette Tunstall-Turnbull, said that "appropriate action will be taken at the earliest possible instance."
"I am sure the Government shares our concern that Britain's reputation for efficiency and economic viability should be preserved intact during forthcoming fiscal cycles," Mr Feasting-Piranha said.
To that end, Mr Feasting-Piranha suggested increased government investment in research into the utilisation of employment-defunct human resources on a radically cost-circumscribed basis, so as to free up more time and energy in the middle-management sphere.
Asked whether adoption of such a scheme would clash with the Government's manifesto promise not to reintroduce slavery during the present parliamentary term, Mr Feasting-Piranha said, "I think it would be a remarkably irresponsible government which allowed party politics to take precedence over the state of the country's economy."
The Confabulation of Business Interests has ordered the Government to take "urgent action" to ease negative shareholder welfare caused by human resource attrition in companies whose employees are permitted to work more than seventy-five hours a week.
"Human resource opportunification has never been at a higher level, yet the country is suffering a middle management crisis of unprecedented proportions," said CBI chairperson Nigel Feasting-Piranha today.
Some disputed studies have claimed to show that longer working hours and lack of government interference in business affairs (what used to be termed "job security" in a previous century) has the potential to cause human resource fatigue.
If left unchecked, this trend could result in an unhealthy trend, according to some pressure groups, whose conclusions are disputed.
The Government's social beautification spokesperson, Waynette Tunstall-Turnbull, said that "appropriate action will be taken at the earliest possible instance."
"I am sure the Government shares our concern that Britain's reputation for efficiency and economic viability should be preserved intact during forthcoming fiscal cycles," Mr Feasting-Piranha said.
To that end, Mr Feasting-Piranha suggested increased government investment in research into the utilisation of employment-defunct human resources on a radically cost-circumscribed basis, so as to free up more time and energy in the middle-management sphere.
Asked whether adoption of such a scheme would clash with the Government's manifesto promise not to reintroduce slavery during the present parliamentary term, Mr Feasting-Piranha said, "I think it would be a remarkably irresponsible government which allowed party politics to take precedence over the state of the country's economy."
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