The Greatest Gift

with apologies to the Doddery

Chorus:
Britishness, Britishness, the greatest gift that I possess
I thank the Lord that I've been blessed
With more than my share of Britishness

To me this old country's a wonderful place
And I'm one of the fifty million best in the whole human race
From Queen Vicky's coolies I've got silver and gold
And a whole lot of Britishness in my soul

Chorus with Smiling Children:
Britishness, Britishness, the greatest gift that I possess
I thank my parents I've been blessed
With more than my share of Britishness

Britishness to me is a Channel tide
Or a sunset fading on a small hillside
Or maybe a modest heaven full of hungry BA passengers
When I'm in the arms of Ann Widdecombe

Britishness is a field of grain
Lifting its face to a bicycling old maid
I see it in the warm beer, I breathe it in the rain
Britishness everywhere

Chorus with Gambolling Suits:
Britishness, Britishness, the greatest gift that I possess
I thank the City I've been blessed
With more than my share of Britishness

A wise old man told me one time
That Britishness is more than a frame of mind
I hope when you go to measuring my success
That you don't count my deeds, just count my Britishness

Chorus with Waving Flags:
Britishness, Britishness, the greatest gift that I possess
I thank the Tories I've been blessed
With more than my share of Britishness

Chorus with Tony Blair:
Britishness, Britishness, the greatest gift that I possess
I thank New Labour I've been blessed
With more than my share of Britishness

(repeat ad nauseam)