The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

News 2020

Former Prime Minister dies at 77

The Right Honourable Sir John Major, KG, CH, CSE and former Prime Minister, died peacefully in his audience's sleep today during a long speech he was making about cricket. He was 77.

Sir John, who came to power after the voluntary departure of Lady Thatcher in 1990, led Britain through the first War of Iraqi Liberation and in and out of the Exchange Rate Mechanism.

Though not a fiery orator, he was known as a man with an interesting overlip and had many human quirks, including the pronunciation of the word "want" to rhyme with "pant".

After a chivalrous electoral campaign which he lost to Lord Blair of Belmarsh, Sir John retired from worldly things and was elected to the Committee of the Marylebone Cricket Club, where his interestingly interesting personal character and neatly brushed hair could be used to their fullest advantage.

He was also a member of the executive board of the Carlyle Group, the US-based global equity firm charged with the handling of British assets on their way to the United States.

Tributes have been trickling in from adversaries on all sides of the political spectrum. "He was a political giant," said Lady Thatcher, who ranked him "second only to Heath, Baldwin and Neville Chamberlain" among twentieth-century Conservative Prime Ministers.

The novelist and cultural commentator Edwina Currie paid tribute to Sir John's personal integrity and dress sense, while Lord Blair of Belmarsh called him "a political giant".

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