News 2020

Police probe propaganda mosque mobs

The Government was last night urged to upgrade its email and mobile phone monitoring capacities as violent mobs stormed fifteen mosques all over Britain.

Policemen have been stationed at the doors of mosques since last week's terrorist terror bombings, in order to protect Muslims against any backlash and listen for seditious sermons from the pulpits of British-resident imams.

However, the police were unable to stop the mobs, made up predominantly of youths carrying banners for the British Exit Europe Party and the British National Party.

Both parties have unequivocally condemned last week's terror bombings by terrorists. "I utterly condemn these terror bombings," said BEEP leader Robert Kilroy-Silk. "We owe these people nothing. First they chop women into little pieces for not wearing a parka, and now this."

BNP leader Tig Fickin said, "The BNP utterly, utterly condemns the utter, utter terrorists who committed this utterly depraved act."

Referring to the violence, Mr Fickin said, "We utterly condemn violence against innocent people and utterly did not authorise any violent action against Muslim churches or immigrants."

The Government admitted last night that the companies contracted to monitor email and mobile phone calls were having difficulty meeting their quotas, due to a large proportion of their computer space being taken up with preparing defences against shareholder lawsuits.

For budgetary reasons, the police are proceeding on the assumption that the mobs were made up predominantly of anarchists and anti-globalisation protesters attempting to damage the reputation of their political rivals.