News 2020
Terror victims opportunified to help war effort
The bodies or parts of those killed or injured in terrorist attacks will soon be co-opted into the war against vileness in a new Government anti-terror recycling initiative, the Department of Public Persuasion has announced.
Under the new laws, any bodies not claimed within forty-eight hours of a terrorist attack will be subject to requisition by the Government.
Detached pieces of those still living will also be subject to requisition unless claimed by the previous owner with a signed doctor's certificate stating that the part in question both belongs to the claimant and is capable of being sewn back on in an operation which the claimant can afford.
The requisitioned bodies will be treated with a new "plasticisation" process which will cause the flesh to harden and remove the risk of decay.
Bodies that are complete or nearly complete will be hung from lamp-posts in electoral districts which show excessive opposition to the war on horribility so that residents can "gain a more direct understanding of just what it is that these terrorists are capable of", said Minister of Public Enlightenment Randy Sweetmeat.
Small body parts, such as hands or eyeballs, will be sent to individual agitators and inciters of the public to non-governmentally sanctioned modes of protest. The parts so used may not be "plasticised" so as to save expenses and add olfactory force to the message being conveyed, Mr Sweetmeat said.
The scheme has the enthusiastic approval of Lord Blair of Belmarsh. The former Prime Minister and co-initiator, with Commander-in-Chief George W Bush, of the war on anti-peace, issued a statement from his fortified bath-chair in Henley congratulating the NuLabLib Coalition on its "radical continuation of my own pioneering commitment to compassionate and efficient public information".
The scheme will be paid for by a "lamp-post tax" on beneficiary districts, and by a small one-off charge to be paid by the nearest surviving relatives of the consumers whose vacated biological assets are being utilised. "I'm sure it's what they would have wanted," Mr Sweetmeat said.
The bodies or parts of those killed or injured in terrorist attacks will soon be co-opted into the war against vileness in a new Government anti-terror recycling initiative, the Department of Public Persuasion has announced.
Under the new laws, any bodies not claimed within forty-eight hours of a terrorist attack will be subject to requisition by the Government.
Detached pieces of those still living will also be subject to requisition unless claimed by the previous owner with a signed doctor's certificate stating that the part in question both belongs to the claimant and is capable of being sewn back on in an operation which the claimant can afford.
The requisitioned bodies will be treated with a new "plasticisation" process which will cause the flesh to harden and remove the risk of decay.
Bodies that are complete or nearly complete will be hung from lamp-posts in electoral districts which show excessive opposition to the war on horribility so that residents can "gain a more direct understanding of just what it is that these terrorists are capable of", said Minister of Public Enlightenment Randy Sweetmeat.
Small body parts, such as hands or eyeballs, will be sent to individual agitators and inciters of the public to non-governmentally sanctioned modes of protest. The parts so used may not be "plasticised" so as to save expenses and add olfactory force to the message being conveyed, Mr Sweetmeat said.
The scheme has the enthusiastic approval of Lord Blair of Belmarsh. The former Prime Minister and co-initiator, with Commander-in-Chief George W Bush, of the war on anti-peace, issued a statement from his fortified bath-chair in Henley congratulating the NuLabLib Coalition on its "radical continuation of my own pioneering commitment to compassionate and efficient public information".
The scheme will be paid for by a "lamp-post tax" on beneficiary districts, and by a small one-off charge to be paid by the nearest surviving relatives of the consumers whose vacated biological assets are being utilised. "I'm sure it's what they would have wanted," Mr Sweetmeat said.
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