News 2020
PM condemns latest attacks
The Prime Minister has personally flown back from holidaying in Addis Ababa to give his personal condemnation of the latest terrorist bombings in central London yesterday.
The official death toll from the bombings now stands at 149, though there is some controversy as to how many of the deconsumerisations were due directly to the bombs and how much to lack of preparedness on the part of customers.
"I suppose it can be difficult to remember your personal bio-identificator number if your leg's been torn off," said an operative from Middle Income Rescue Inc., the US-based compassionate intervention company which controversially patented the 999 telephone number eight years ago.
"I think the credit companies should make those numbers easier to remember," he continued. "Then they'd lose a lot fewer customers through having them shunted off into NHS hospitals."
The Prime Minister condemned the attacks as "vicious" and "nasty", in accordance with the words used by the Commander-in-Chief of the United States. His use of the adjectives is in accordance with present trends, with "barbaric" and "evil" expected the next time terrorists strike London.
The Prime Minister also emphasised that the death toll might have been much higher had London Underground not undergone extensive renovations under the Private Finance Initiative some years ago.
"Almost all stations within half a mile of central London have now been equipped with bio-sensitive ticket readouts," he said. "This means that no terrorists can strike at central London without registering their biometric data in a memory bank, from which the Metropolitan Police can retrieve it on payment of the appropriate fee."
Asked whether a terrorist might somehow have got onto the underground without a ticket, the Prime Minister condemned "irresponsible conspiracy theories" and "inappropriate utilisation of terror-detrimented innocents for the purpose of political point-scoring".
The Prime Minister has personally flown back from holidaying in Addis Ababa to give his personal condemnation of the latest terrorist bombings in central London yesterday.
The official death toll from the bombings now stands at 149, though there is some controversy as to how many of the deconsumerisations were due directly to the bombs and how much to lack of preparedness on the part of customers.
"I suppose it can be difficult to remember your personal bio-identificator number if your leg's been torn off," said an operative from Middle Income Rescue Inc., the US-based compassionate intervention company which controversially patented the 999 telephone number eight years ago.
"I think the credit companies should make those numbers easier to remember," he continued. "Then they'd lose a lot fewer customers through having them shunted off into NHS hospitals."
The Prime Minister condemned the attacks as "vicious" and "nasty", in accordance with the words used by the Commander-in-Chief of the United States. His use of the adjectives is in accordance with present trends, with "barbaric" and "evil" expected the next time terrorists strike London.
The Prime Minister also emphasised that the death toll might have been much higher had London Underground not undergone extensive renovations under the Private Finance Initiative some years ago.
"Almost all stations within half a mile of central London have now been equipped with bio-sensitive ticket readouts," he said. "This means that no terrorists can strike at central London without registering their biometric data in a memory bank, from which the Metropolitan Police can retrieve it on payment of the appropriate fee."
Asked whether a terrorist might somehow have got onto the underground without a ticket, the Prime Minister condemned "irresponsible conspiracy theories" and "inappropriate utilisation of terror-detrimented innocents for the purpose of political point-scoring".
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