A Momentous Message
On this momentous day, aided by his political ally Lord Coe and his intellectual peer David Beckham, Tony Blair has achieved a momentous achievement. Having saved Africa only last week, the Prime Minister has now secured the 2012 Olympic Games for London.
It is particularly notable that this momentous day occurs during the anniversary year of the momentous British victory in the Second World War. With the aid of the United States, and despite the Communist threat from Stalin's USSR, the plucky little men and women of Britain waded through the blood, toil, tears and sweat of Churchill's speeches to emerge in triumphant victory over the evil forces of anti-Semitism. All British people will join in hoping that Tony Blair's Olympic victory will be another such magnificent chapter in the history of the fight for peace and freedom all over the world insofar as these goals are not incompatible with economic growth and political practicability.
But the 2012 Olympics will be held in the anniversary year of an event of much less positivity, namely the murderous terrorist attack on the Israeli team which took place during the 1972 Games in the city of Munich in Germany, which Britain defeated in the victory of 1945, for which we should all be grateful. The 1972 Games in the ex-Nazi city were forever marred by the terrorist attack by fanatical Palestinian* Islamofascists not dissimilar to the fanatical Islamofascist near-Iraqis who, on 11 September 2001, perpetrated the murderous terrorist attack on Britain's ally in the victory of sixty years ago, the United States.
Obviously, the Olympic Games are a celebration of peace and human brotherhood insofar as this is not incompatible with frenzied multi-million-dollar competition for national prestige. Obviously, the Olympic Games should be an event of enjoyment and fun for all, as well as profit for some. But the staging of the 2012 Olympics in Britain - America's ally in the war on terror - will not be without its problems. Many people will come to London, some of them foreigners. While it is unlikely that anyone from a country called "Palestine" will be among them, the potential for terrorist attack cannot be dismissed.
The 2012 Olympics is not only Tony Blair's fourth great achievement of the 2005 parliament, after the salvation of Africa, the placing of climate change on the agenda of an apathetic public and the drawing of a thick black line under the Iraq issue. The 2012 Olympics is a future outpost in the ongoing war on terror. It is a fortress which must be defended, a bridgehead which must be held, a Princess Diana who must be protected, a frail, newly-born African child who must be nurtured, nourished and kept away from land mines insofar as this is not incompatible with the continuing viability of the British self-defence industry.
The Government's identity card scheme, originated by David Blunkett and carried on by his successor, is the aid package which will fulfil these desperate needs. The Government's identity card scheme will protect us against terrorists and against baby-chewing anti-G8 anarchists who have made a mockery of the legitimate protesting rights of people who protest about less than they do. The Government's identity card scheme will make life easier and better in all ways. The Government's identity card scheme will help pay your bills. The Government's identity card scheme will help Britain win more gold medals. The Government's identity card scheme will destroy irritating insects, kill all known germs except those patented by the United States Defense Department, erase unwanted tattoos and ease the symptoms of obesity and hyperactivity in your children. The Government's identity card scheme is the answer.
And remember: Tony loves you.
*Note for Zionists: The terms Palestine and Palestinian are here used with no anti-Semitic intent but purely out of laziness, for which we offer our most humble and abject apologies.
It is particularly notable that this momentous day occurs during the anniversary year of the momentous British victory in the Second World War. With the aid of the United States, and despite the Communist threat from Stalin's USSR, the plucky little men and women of Britain waded through the blood, toil, tears and sweat of Churchill's speeches to emerge in triumphant victory over the evil forces of anti-Semitism. All British people will join in hoping that Tony Blair's Olympic victory will be another such magnificent chapter in the history of the fight for peace and freedom all over the world insofar as these goals are not incompatible with economic growth and political practicability.
But the 2012 Olympics will be held in the anniversary year of an event of much less positivity, namely the murderous terrorist attack on the Israeli team which took place during the 1972 Games in the city of Munich in Germany, which Britain defeated in the victory of 1945, for which we should all be grateful. The 1972 Games in the ex-Nazi city were forever marred by the terrorist attack by fanatical Palestinian* Islamofascists not dissimilar to the fanatical Islamofascist near-Iraqis who, on 11 September 2001, perpetrated the murderous terrorist attack on Britain's ally in the victory of sixty years ago, the United States.
Obviously, the Olympic Games are a celebration of peace and human brotherhood insofar as this is not incompatible with frenzied multi-million-dollar competition for national prestige. Obviously, the Olympic Games should be an event of enjoyment and fun for all, as well as profit for some. But the staging of the 2012 Olympics in Britain - America's ally in the war on terror - will not be without its problems. Many people will come to London, some of them foreigners. While it is unlikely that anyone from a country called "Palestine" will be among them, the potential for terrorist attack cannot be dismissed.
The 2012 Olympics is not only Tony Blair's fourth great achievement of the 2005 parliament, after the salvation of Africa, the placing of climate change on the agenda of an apathetic public and the drawing of a thick black line under the Iraq issue. The 2012 Olympics is a future outpost in the ongoing war on terror. It is a fortress which must be defended, a bridgehead which must be held, a Princess Diana who must be protected, a frail, newly-born African child who must be nurtured, nourished and kept away from land mines insofar as this is not incompatible with the continuing viability of the British self-defence industry.
The Government's identity card scheme, originated by David Blunkett and carried on by his successor, is the aid package which will fulfil these desperate needs. The Government's identity card scheme will protect us against terrorists and against baby-chewing anti-G8 anarchists who have made a mockery of the legitimate protesting rights of people who protest about less than they do. The Government's identity card scheme will make life easier and better in all ways. The Government's identity card scheme will help pay your bills. The Government's identity card scheme will help Britain win more gold medals. The Government's identity card scheme will destroy irritating insects, kill all known germs except those patented by the United States Defense Department, erase unwanted tattoos and ease the symptoms of obesity and hyperactivity in your children. The Government's identity card scheme is the answer.
And remember: Tony loves you.
*Note for Zionists: The terms Palestine and Palestinian are here used with no anti-Semitic intent but purely out of laziness, for which we offer our most humble and abject apologies.
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