The Satanic Supplement

Admiration,n. The short-lived offspring of one person's skill and another's myopia.

Druptic,adj. In the fashion of a thumbless ape.
After seven and a half minutes of druptic fumblings, they gave up on sex and had a nice cup of tea instead.
Charmian Gleek

Fatal,adj. Inducing a marked and permanent moral improvement.

Idealist,n. Someone who tramples over us to make way for the unattainable. Cf. Pragmatist, someone who tramples over us to make way for his own ambition.

Leeway,n. The inch which is generally given immediately prior to the taking of a mile.

Manger,n. Cradle of the living embodiment of the Christian faith. Container for cattle fodder.

Phatic,adj. Scientific term for inane.

Spirit,n. That part of a law which the legislator's friends can trample even more freely than the letter.

Trapeze,n. Something from which an idiot swings to entertain us; a rather inferior modern counterpart of the gibbet.

Warlike,adj. An enemy suffering from a deplorable addiction to self-defence.