The Satanic Supplement

Bureaucracy,n. A means of protecting the public from any fair or reasonable measures which may inadvertently have been allowed to creep into a law.

Death,n. Permanent cessation of all life functions save exploitability.

Flobbular,adj. Tending to bulge out of any restraint like a beer-belly over a belt.
Her sharp teeth caught at her succulent lower lip, which then slid slowly from between them with flobbular voluptuousness.
Randy Wrangler

Grief,n. Condition sometimes occurring in the agonised interval which follows a bereavement and precedes the insurance payout.

Idolatry,n. The blasphemous and utterly irrational urge to put faith in something one can actually see.

Megalomania,n. Delusions of adequacy.

Ouija,n. Wooden board, which can carry messages to those whose heads have the good fortune to be of similar construction.

Patriot,n. Admirable organism whose generous affections are capable of embracing sections of continental shelf in preference to members of the human race. Not to be confused with the estate agent, which stands in the same relation to the patriot as the gigolo does to the sex killer.

Rump,n. The longest lived part of a political organisation, being the part best adapted for the emission of wind.

Spine-chiller,n.(Merchandising) Publisher's term for any book with a black cover lettered in dripping red. Should a nubile female in salaciously clawed undergarments also appear, the words macabre classic may be duly applied.

Traitor,n. A benighted individual who perceives an illusory distinction between serving his nation and abetting the criminals who govern it.

Virile,adj. Energetic and fast-breeding, like a virus.