The Satanic Supplement

Bored,adj. Subjected to sustained and ongoing good advice.

Delirious,adj. In a state of advanced truthfulness.

Free,adj.(Merchandising) Worth less than nothing.

Heritage,n. Sum total of a country's tourist attractions.

Jostle,v.t. To inflict grievous bodily harm with impunity, as on public transport.

Mospidor,n. A moth used as a cuspidor.
Big Harry's phlegm could reduce any member of the order Lepidoptera to a leg-twitching moist mospidor at twenty paces and in half a second flat.
Magot Q. Prulge

Motherland,n. Same as fatherland. This inbreeding doubtless accounts for the regrettable mental capacity of so many ardent patriots.

Obscure,adj. Insufficiently tailored to an audience's powers of stupidity.

Roman Catholic Church,n. Literally, the Universal Roman Church, intended for all mankind; thus its teachings are adhered to by everyone except for Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Protestants, Buddhists, animists, atheists, agnostics and numerous Popes.

Starvation,n. Something Asians and Africans die of so that Europeans can die of heart disease.

Week,n. Standard unit of measurement for the time a political situation takes to worsen.