The Curmudgeon


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

News 2020

Paulowitz appointment to counter "puppet" rumours

The US Commander-in-Chief has appointed Lupus Paulowitz, the deputy head of the Department of Peacekeeping, as the new chief executive of the World Bank.

At a press conference in the main White House bunker, the Commander-in-Chief said that he hoped Mr Paulowitz' appointment would finally lay to rest "all incidences of terrorist propaganda about the World Bank."

For too long, he continued, terrorists and other non-globalised entities had tried to portray the World Bank as merely "a puppet dancing on the strings of some rotten apples on Wall Street."

"As of today, Loopy's presidency of the World Bank will ensure a new, free, fair and radically upcontented economic life for all, in the honourable tradition of previous presidencies," the Commander-in-Chief continued.

Mr Paulowitz, known as "Wolfie" to his friends because he has to be locked away at the time of the full moon, has had a long career at the Pentagon. He was a homeland defence policy planner for nearly ten years, and has been credited with thinking up several of the very best code-names for US Special Forces operations.

Mr Paulowitz also served as US Ambassador to Indonesia, where his embassy was praised for its cleanliness and the clear, hard lines of the management structure he imposed. A tough advocate of democratic values, Mr Paulowitz helped negotiate a number of large arms deals with the Indonesian government in return for substantial moves towards economic democratisation and the upgrading and streamlining of neo-efficientiated liberalising systems.

"The World Bank is the repository for the nest-egg of future generations, and I can't think of a better henhouse guard than this man right here," the Commander-in-Chief told the White House bunker press corps. Placing one arm around Mr Paulowitz, who gave a toothy near-smile, the Commander-in-Chief continued, "I'd trust this guy with the family silver if I had to."


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home