News 2020
Balanced news from right on the fence
The US Commander-in-Chief has appointed a new director of intelligence, Mr Borg Slavebridge. Mr Slavebridge is the nephew of the well-known diplomat and raconteur John "Black Jack" Slavebridge, but the Commander-in-Chief has denied that the post of director of intelligence has been made hereditary.
"The idea of hereditary privilege is not recognised by the Homeland Constitution," the Commander-in-Chief said, "and I do not believe it is something which my glorious predecessor, George W Bush, would ever have approbated of."
Black Jack Slavebridge was known for his diplomatic efforts in Central America, where he devoted many years to the stabilisation of the fledgeling democracy in Honduras. Although not directly involved in the training of pro-active electoral persuasion units, he was much criticised because of the over-zealousness which led some rotten apples in those units to publicly execute a Catholic Archbishop who had exceeded his religious brief.
The incident caused some embarrassment in Washington at the time, but Mr Slavebridge's diplomatic skills and personal charm enabled him to ride out the storm.
His nephew Borg is largely unknown, particularly in the Middle East where he will presumably concentrate most of his attention. "I think he has the experience and knowledge which make him ideal for this job," the Commander-in-Chief said yesterday.
The younger Mr Slavebridge has never been to the Middle East, speaks no Arabic and has no knowledge of Middle Eastern culture. The White House believes that these advantages will enable him to carry out the delicate diplomatic work of persuading the indigenous human resources to accept democracy, without his resolution being swayed by the needs of a voluble but uninformed and inexperienced electorate.
"This guy here will be a dagger in the heart of international terrorism," said the Commander-in-Chief, putting his arm around Mr Slavebridge's shoulders. "He's going to help finally solve the problem once and for all, and he'll never let this administration down. His honour is loyalty."
The US Commander-in-Chief has appointed a new director of intelligence, Mr Borg Slavebridge. Mr Slavebridge is the nephew of the well-known diplomat and raconteur John "Black Jack" Slavebridge, but the Commander-in-Chief has denied that the post of director of intelligence has been made hereditary.
"The idea of hereditary privilege is not recognised by the Homeland Constitution," the Commander-in-Chief said, "and I do not believe it is something which my glorious predecessor, George W Bush, would ever have approbated of."
Black Jack Slavebridge was known for his diplomatic efforts in Central America, where he devoted many years to the stabilisation of the fledgeling democracy in Honduras. Although not directly involved in the training of pro-active electoral persuasion units, he was much criticised because of the over-zealousness which led some rotten apples in those units to publicly execute a Catholic Archbishop who had exceeded his religious brief.
The incident caused some embarrassment in Washington at the time, but Mr Slavebridge's diplomatic skills and personal charm enabled him to ride out the storm.
His nephew Borg is largely unknown, particularly in the Middle East where he will presumably concentrate most of his attention. "I think he has the experience and knowledge which make him ideal for this job," the Commander-in-Chief said yesterday.
The younger Mr Slavebridge has never been to the Middle East, speaks no Arabic and has no knowledge of Middle Eastern culture. The White House believes that these advantages will enable him to carry out the delicate diplomatic work of persuading the indigenous human resources to accept democracy, without his resolution being swayed by the needs of a voluble but uninformed and inexperienced electorate.
"This guy here will be a dagger in the heart of international terrorism," said the Commander-in-Chief, putting his arm around Mr Slavebridge's shoulders. "He's going to help finally solve the problem once and for all, and he'll never let this administration down. His honour is loyalty."
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