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The Prime Minister has been touring the country in preparation for the voting season, which is expected to open some time next spring. During the next few months, all Diebechtel voting machines installed in the homes of members of the public will be electronically checked for readiness from Diebechtel's headquarters in Canary Wharf.
The voting season is often considered one of Britain's quainter formalities, an amusingly antique ceremony without real purpose, rather like the monarch's speech at the opening of parliament or the holding of public opinion polls. American tourists often find our politics strange, and express resentment at the idea that they should have staked their own national security on keeping Britain a potentially unstable three-party state.
However, the Prime Minister is determined that British democracy should have its day. Over the past week he has made visits to several locations, which will be revealed once the tour is over so that terrorists cannot accomplish violence-oriented itinerary extrapolation procedures while he is still on route.
At each stop on the journey - dubbed "The Journey of Life" by Downing Street press agent Mandel Moanbull - the Prime Minister has unveiled the NuLibLab coalition's "campaign pledges", another formality which many today perhaps consider a little meaningless, yet which encapsulates in its impressionistic postmodernism all the pageant and colour of British democracy in the twenty-first century.
The pledges were unveiled one by one at five separate locations across the country, with plenty of small children in attendance in each case to emphasise the Government's commitment to Britain's future and the optimum economic development of every human resource. As is traditional, the pledges contain minimal verbs and no words with more than one syllable, thus encapsulating the Government's radical dynamism and the Prime Minister's personal faith in the intelligence and judgement of his audience.
The Government's pledges for this voting season are:
You more well off
You get more dosh
You get more stuff
Your kid the best
Your home not blown up
These are also the pledges of the Opposition.
The Prime Minister has been touring the country in preparation for the voting season, which is expected to open some time next spring. During the next few months, all Diebechtel voting machines installed in the homes of members of the public will be electronically checked for readiness from Diebechtel's headquarters in Canary Wharf.
The voting season is often considered one of Britain's quainter formalities, an amusingly antique ceremony without real purpose, rather like the monarch's speech at the opening of parliament or the holding of public opinion polls. American tourists often find our politics strange, and express resentment at the idea that they should have staked their own national security on keeping Britain a potentially unstable three-party state.
However, the Prime Minister is determined that British democracy should have its day. Over the past week he has made visits to several locations, which will be revealed once the tour is over so that terrorists cannot accomplish violence-oriented itinerary extrapolation procedures while he is still on route.
At each stop on the journey - dubbed "The Journey of Life" by Downing Street press agent Mandel Moanbull - the Prime Minister has unveiled the NuLibLab coalition's "campaign pledges", another formality which many today perhaps consider a little meaningless, yet which encapsulates in its impressionistic postmodernism all the pageant and colour of British democracy in the twenty-first century.
The pledges were unveiled one by one at five separate locations across the country, with plenty of small children in attendance in each case to emphasise the Government's commitment to Britain's future and the optimum economic development of every human resource. As is traditional, the pledges contain minimal verbs and no words with more than one syllable, thus encapsulating the Government's radical dynamism and the Prime Minister's personal faith in the intelligence and judgement of his audience.
The Government's pledges for this voting season are:
You more well off
You get more dosh
You get more stuff
Your kid the best
Your home not blown up
These are also the pledges of the Opposition.
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