The Curmudgeon


Wednesday, February 09, 2005

News 2020

All the fun of the future without the pain of living there

The Prime Minister this afternoon issued a public apology to the US Government on behalf of the British detainees in Guatanamo Bay and other American terrorist suspect processing facilitation centres across the world.

"Thanks to the errors and omissions of previous administrations in failing to curb possible terrorist activities, a number of British passport holders are now being held by the United States," the Prime Minister said.

"On behalf of the Government and the country, I would like to apologise to the United States for all the trouble, and even danger, which that great nation has suffered due to the fact that British identity documentation was found on these particular suspects," he continued.

A number of British passport holders have been detained at various times by the United States in the course of its democracy distribution efforts of the past twenty years.

Several detainees have been released and sent back to the United Kingdom, despite the fact that many of their terrorist activities were so effectively concealed that no charges could be brought against them in this country.

The Prime Minister's apology has been expected for some time, particularly since last week's secret court-martial and execution of two detainees, one a British passport holder and one not.

A parliamentary question on the subject had been prepared by Lynn W Cad, the NuLibLab Member for West Fawning and special deputy under-envoy for human rights; but in the event the Prime Minister decided not to wait.

"I wish to emulate my great predecessor, Lord Blair of Belmarsh, by opening question time today on a note of respect for our greatest ally, mingled with humility and a personal hunger for justice," he began, eighty-seven seconds after luncheon ended.


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