News 2020
All the fun of the future without the pain of living there
The US Commander-in-Chief and his entourage were relaxing at several parties last night after the annual reiteration of his inaugural vows.
Despite the state of emergency, the Homeland Constitution insists that the Commander-in-Chief must "stand before his people" and invite their approval of his continuation in power.
Accordingly, the Commander-in-Chief, standing before a crowd of tens of thousands, was administered the oath of office by the Chief Justice, Antonio Cotton Mather Scarpia, whom he appointed only last month.
The security forces received some criticism because of the fact that the nearest free speech zone, where mild protest can be registered so long as it does not cross the bounds of un-Americanism, was only five miles from the Commander-in-Chief's podium.
However, security chief Chuck Nanna was confident that the measures would suffice. "There's fourteen thousand plain-clothes security guards in the crowd, along with the twenty thousand in uniform," he said. "There's also two million dollars' worth of balloons floating above the city, which will act as barrage balloons should any of the protesters have any missile-launching weaponry concealed on them."
All in all, said Mr Nanna, "in our opinion the protesters do not constitute an excessive degree of danger of emperilment."
In his inaugural speech, the Commander-in-Chief vowed to continue the fight against unpleasantness wherever it was found. "Democracy cannot truly flourish, even in advanced civilisations, so long as terrorism prevails elsewhere," he said. "In order for the truth to triumph, the lies must first be rooted out wherever they may be."
Despite the misgivings of those who would prefer to see America revert to an isolationist, inward-looking nation whose people's tax money "got poured down some black hole of welfare," he said, the US had to live up to its responsibilities towards the rest of the planet.
"To the impoveratised but entrepreneurial; to the fearful and to those suffering violence; and above all to those who wish to be free but are as yet undemocrified, we say only this: America will never leave you alone," he concluded.
The US Commander-in-Chief and his entourage were relaxing at several parties last night after the annual reiteration of his inaugural vows.
Despite the state of emergency, the Homeland Constitution insists that the Commander-in-Chief must "stand before his people" and invite their approval of his continuation in power.
Accordingly, the Commander-in-Chief, standing before a crowd of tens of thousands, was administered the oath of office by the Chief Justice, Antonio Cotton Mather Scarpia, whom he appointed only last month.
The security forces received some criticism because of the fact that the nearest free speech zone, where mild protest can be registered so long as it does not cross the bounds of un-Americanism, was only five miles from the Commander-in-Chief's podium.
However, security chief Chuck Nanna was confident that the measures would suffice. "There's fourteen thousand plain-clothes security guards in the crowd, along with the twenty thousand in uniform," he said. "There's also two million dollars' worth of balloons floating above the city, which will act as barrage balloons should any of the protesters have any missile-launching weaponry concealed on them."
All in all, said Mr Nanna, "in our opinion the protesters do not constitute an excessive degree of danger of emperilment."
In his inaugural speech, the Commander-in-Chief vowed to continue the fight against unpleasantness wherever it was found. "Democracy cannot truly flourish, even in advanced civilisations, so long as terrorism prevails elsewhere," he said. "In order for the truth to triumph, the lies must first be rooted out wherever they may be."
Despite the misgivings of those who would prefer to see America revert to an isolationist, inward-looking nation whose people's tax money "got poured down some black hole of welfare," he said, the US had to live up to its responsibilities towards the rest of the planet.
"To the impoveratised but entrepreneurial; to the fearful and to those suffering violence; and above all to those who wish to be free but are as yet undemocrified, we say only this: America will never leave you alone," he concluded.
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