News 2020
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The American company HomePenal, which manufactures "child and family discipline equipment for the Christian husband and father" is seeking an injunction against the British government for illegal restriction of trade.
Under British law, parents are forbidden to discipline their children with physical punishment, although they are permitted to inflict any psychological damage they see fit and also to sell their children into slavery as long as the appropriate taxes are paid.
HomePenal says the law is an infringement of its corporate rights, and is taking its case to the US Supreme Court in the hope of getting the British statute overturned.
"We believe we have a very strong case," said HomePenal executive Rudy Rodman. "England has a long tradition of parenthood and Christian discipline in bringing up its children."
The company manufactures a variety of instruments for disciplining children, including the ButtockBat for simple spanking and the collapsible garden woodshed to "foster an appropriate sense of ceremony and disciplinary environment".
The ButtockBat is manufactured in three sizes - Large, Extra Large and Obese - and includes a screw-on handle extension for extra leverage. The company also makes flexible truncheons which can be hooked onto fathers' belts and used for marital or paternal chiding on family trips and vacations.
HomePenal would be happy to introduce local variations in its merchandise, "just like McDonald's," Mr Rodman said. "We're even looking at an automated robot for your British stately homes, or maybe for private schools, which will be able to uphold discipline, administer medicine and effect invasive anal punishment on children of seven and upwards," he continued.
The American company HomePenal, which manufactures "child and family discipline equipment for the Christian husband and father" is seeking an injunction against the British government for illegal restriction of trade.
Under British law, parents are forbidden to discipline their children with physical punishment, although they are permitted to inflict any psychological damage they see fit and also to sell their children into slavery as long as the appropriate taxes are paid.
HomePenal says the law is an infringement of its corporate rights, and is taking its case to the US Supreme Court in the hope of getting the British statute overturned.
"We believe we have a very strong case," said HomePenal executive Rudy Rodman. "England has a long tradition of parenthood and Christian discipline in bringing up its children."
The company manufactures a variety of instruments for disciplining children, including the ButtockBat for simple spanking and the collapsible garden woodshed to "foster an appropriate sense of ceremony and disciplinary environment".
The ButtockBat is manufactured in three sizes - Large, Extra Large and Obese - and includes a screw-on handle extension for extra leverage. The company also makes flexible truncheons which can be hooked onto fathers' belts and used for marital or paternal chiding on family trips and vacations.
HomePenal would be happy to introduce local variations in its merchandise, "just like McDonald's," Mr Rodman said. "We're even looking at an automated robot for your British stately homes, or maybe for private schools, which will be able to uphold discipline, administer medicine and effect invasive anal punishment on children of seven and upwards," he continued.
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