The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Monday, January 03, 2005

News 2020

Futures traders wishing to profit unfairly from the revelations contained herein are invited to apply to the reporter with appropriate incentives

News agencies are failing in their duty to report information of vital public interest, according to the Corporate Consumer Council's monthly report. The CCC, a consumer rights organisation funded by charitable donations from international corporations, blames media apathy for a 1.3% drop in purchasing over the past month.

"The media are quite simply not paying sufficient attention to available product information," said CCC spokesperson Melanie Highpocket. "This means that vital product information which should be relayed via news stories is forcibly relegated to the advertising department, with consequent inflationary pressure on advertising budgets."

As an example, the report cites the recent failure of the EarPod, a microminiaturised information outlet which can be implanted into the consumer's aural canal in a simple operation like an ear piercing. The EarPod supplies a constant feed of news information and product updates directly into the aural canal until its battery wears out, at which point it can be removed and replaced in a new operation.

"The EarPod is a cheap and efficient 24-hour source of information which provides comprehensive world news and product updates for up to three months without pause," said Ms Highpocket today. "Yet its presence on the market, and the availability of implantation technicians in selected shopping centres, has scarcely been reported."

The CCC believes that the mainstream news media may have blanked coverage of the EarPod because of its dynamic market transference potential. But, according to Ms Highpocket, the problems go still deeper.

"It's a basic problem with the mainstream media," she said. "They get to decide what to leave in and what to take out. Often what gets left in is the sensational stuff like wars, disasters and asylum seeker crime levels, which means that the kind of thing people can actually do something about - authentic ways in which individual consumer actions can actually promote a considerable degree of economic rectification - tends to get left by the wayside."

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