The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

News 2020

News so new it hasn't happened yet

Controversial talk-show host and leader of the British Exit Europe Party Robert Kilroy-Silk has condemned the international response to the Asian earthquake as "political correctness gone rabid".

Mr Kilroy-Silk was speaking on the Anglo-American talk show Voices of Reason, which he presents along with tabloid journalist Johnny Littledick and US pundit Trot Legbranch.

"The whole business of throwing money at so-called disaster victims is the greatest disaster of our times," Mr Kilroy-Silk claimed. "We owe these people nothing. They contribute nothing to our culture. There is no conceivable reason that I can conceive of as to why we should subsidise them for living in these unstable places."

Barely a month went by, said Mr Kilroy-Silk, without "politically correct liberal news stories about so-called victims" who were merely suffering the natural consequences of building their personal accommodations "on geographical fault lines or the sides of volcanoes, and without the proper architectural expertise."

Mr Kilroy-Silk was initially discussing a new brand of face cream, but was apparently sidetracked onto the issue of international aid. He then spoke for thirty-five minutes on the subject, although only twenty minutes were broadcast owing to commercial breaks and the end of the programme's running time.

Instant audience polls conducted via the new Diebechtel home voting machines showed a 65% approval rating for Mr Kilroy-Silk's views in the United States. Approval ratings rose to 85% among people who actually watched the show.

British viewers have not been polled, but the director of Nearly Independent Television, Nigella Rennet, which distributes Voices of Reason in the UK, said that Mr Kilroy-Silk's right to free speech would be respected.

Both Mr Kilroy-Silk's co-presenters said that his convictions were sincere and deeply held and deserved to be treated with respect. Mr Littledick was quick to point out that any "whines of disapproval" from the liberal press would be "all the proof necessary for anyone with half a brain cell" of the correctness of Mr Kilroy-Silk's views.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home