News 2020
Balanced news from right on the fence
The Prime Minister took time out from question time in parliament today to pay a surprise visit to the Democratic Republic of Baghdad. Fortunately, the only subject of question time today was whether the new Minister of Freedom had led a blameless enough sex life to qualify for working closely with identity cards.
A briefing by a spokesman for the US Commander-in-Chief later made clear that the Prime Minister was going as a trusted representative of the entire coalition, including America, Australia, Israel and Guatemala. "All the Chief's major flunkeys are helping him mend a puncture, so we had to send what's-his-tongue instead," it was quipped.
Unlike his security staff and his Middle Eastern colleagues, the Prime Minister wore no flak jacket, relying entirely on the flak jackets of the surrounding press corps to protect him from the fanatical assassins with which even the Democratic Republic is festering.
"This shows that the Prime Minister's reckless political courage is more than matched by his physical bravery," said controversial Independent on Sunday sub-editor Harry Johann. "But, like his political courage, this physical recklessness poses the question: is it wise?"
In the Democratic Republic, the Prime Minister had talks with the President, during which they briefed each other on the forthcoming elections. The polls, which are scheduled for a few weeks' time, are threatened by the cancer of insurgent violence, despite decarcinomating and antimetastatising operations by the Allied armies and air forces.
"There is only one side to vote for in a war between terror and democracy, and I am sure all moderate Iraqis will vote for that side," the Prime Minister told a press conference later in the day. "The indication of moderation which would result from a vote for the only side to vote for would be a very encouraging signal for moderate voters to send," he concluded.
The President of the Democratic Republic added that "Democracy has been staring Iraq in the face for more than thirty years, if only our people had the courage to grasp it. We must obliterate the perpetrators of this cowardly violence and embrace our protectors in their B-52s."
The Prime Minister took time out from question time in parliament today to pay a surprise visit to the Democratic Republic of Baghdad. Fortunately, the only subject of question time today was whether the new Minister of Freedom had led a blameless enough sex life to qualify for working closely with identity cards.
A briefing by a spokesman for the US Commander-in-Chief later made clear that the Prime Minister was going as a trusted representative of the entire coalition, including America, Australia, Israel and Guatemala. "All the Chief's major flunkeys are helping him mend a puncture, so we had to send what's-his-tongue instead," it was quipped.
Unlike his security staff and his Middle Eastern colleagues, the Prime Minister wore no flak jacket, relying entirely on the flak jackets of the surrounding press corps to protect him from the fanatical assassins with which even the Democratic Republic is festering.
"This shows that the Prime Minister's reckless political courage is more than matched by his physical bravery," said controversial Independent on Sunday sub-editor Harry Johann. "But, like his political courage, this physical recklessness poses the question: is it wise?"
In the Democratic Republic, the Prime Minister had talks with the President, during which they briefed each other on the forthcoming elections. The polls, which are scheduled for a few weeks' time, are threatened by the cancer of insurgent violence, despite decarcinomating and antimetastatising operations by the Allied armies and air forces.
"There is only one side to vote for in a war between terror and democracy, and I am sure all moderate Iraqis will vote for that side," the Prime Minister told a press conference later in the day. "The indication of moderation which would result from a vote for the only side to vote for would be a very encouraging signal for moderate voters to send," he concluded.
The President of the Democratic Republic added that "Democracy has been staring Iraq in the face for more than thirty years, if only our people had the courage to grasp it. We must obliterate the perpetrators of this cowardly violence and embrace our protectors in their B-52s."
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