The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

News 2020

Futures traders wishing to profit unfairly from the revelations contained herein are invited to apply to the reporter with appropriate incentives

News reporting in Britain is being carried out according to "warped priorities", according to a report released today.

The report, by the US-based Murdoch Disney Foundation for Truth and Harmony, presents the results of a survey of over 10,000 hours of British news programmes, which were viewed by volunteers in Abingdon, South Carolina and rated on questionnaires drawn up by the researchers.

The survey found that the British media devote excessive amounts of time to reporting the pronouncements of comparatively minor politicians and other public figures, while subjects of genuine interest are neglected. Junior ministers and spokespersons are routinely quoted on British television, even though many people in Abingdon, South Carolina have no idea who they are.

Also, the British media have an "unfortunate tendency" to concentrate on wars, serious crime and problems with the economy, according to the survey. "It was found that non-positivisation was present to a considerably larger degree than in a normal country," the report states.

The researchers suggest that more work needs to be done on shopping opportunities, sex scandals and the amusingness of foreigners, in order to instil in the public a feeling of responsibility for the economy, a sense of moral direction and a cohesive community bond.

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