News 2020
All the fun of the future without the pain of living there
The United States Secretary for Public Health, Mr Wrath-of-the-Lord-Descending-Upon-the-Unrighteous Buchanan, is reported to be in "good condition" after his operation in France.
Mr Buchanan - known affectionately as "Walt" because of his first four initials and the fact that most White House staff are functionally illiterate - was flown to Paris last week after a medical check-up revealed a flare-up of what is thought to be a hereditary complaint.
Under America's so-called "Leviticus The Sequel" statutes, genetic research for any purposes other than military ones is outlawed in the USA, so Mr Buchanan was forced to seek help in Europe. The nature of Mr Buchanan's problem has not been revealed during press conferences, and his oxygen tent is fitted with an alarm device and four compact but heavily armed Marines.
Rumours that he referred to the French doctors as "them Arafat-licking Euro-sodomisers" have been extensively refuted on the grounds of Mr Buchanan's dislike of profane language and his total ignorance of history between the end of the New Testament and the adoption of the Homeland Constitution.
Mr Buchanan has been in charge of public health in the USA for nearly seven years. During that time he has pioneered such measures as the Spiritual Welfare Act, designed to "get people out of state hospitals and into church", and the Sabbath Day Act, which outlawed paid labour, dancing, excessive smiling and idleness on Sundays. Since the Sabbath Day Act was passed, Mr Buchanan has been campaigning to get these activities outlawed during the rest of the week also.
The United States Secretary for Public Health, Mr Wrath-of-the-Lord-Descending-Upon-the-Unrighteous Buchanan, is reported to be in "good condition" after his operation in France.
Mr Buchanan - known affectionately as "Walt" because of his first four initials and the fact that most White House staff are functionally illiterate - was flown to Paris last week after a medical check-up revealed a flare-up of what is thought to be a hereditary complaint.
Under America's so-called "Leviticus The Sequel" statutes, genetic research for any purposes other than military ones is outlawed in the USA, so Mr Buchanan was forced to seek help in Europe. The nature of Mr Buchanan's problem has not been revealed during press conferences, and his oxygen tent is fitted with an alarm device and four compact but heavily armed Marines.
Rumours that he referred to the French doctors as "them Arafat-licking Euro-sodomisers" have been extensively refuted on the grounds of Mr Buchanan's dislike of profane language and his total ignorance of history between the end of the New Testament and the adoption of the Homeland Constitution.
Mr Buchanan has been in charge of public health in the USA for nearly seven years. During that time he has pioneered such measures as the Spiritual Welfare Act, designed to "get people out of state hospitals and into church", and the Sabbath Day Act, which outlawed paid labour, dancing, excessive smiling and idleness on Sundays. Since the Sabbath Day Act was passed, Mr Buchanan has been campaigning to get these activities outlawed during the rest of the week also.
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