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Three times winner of the Guardian Media Group Award for Nuance
One of the British citizens said to have died in America's Guatánamo Bay detention centre is to be returned home as soon as US authorities can establish that he isn't faking, the Foreign Office has announced.
The detainee, whose name cannot be revealed for security reasons, suffered an apparently fatal injury the nature of which is believed to be due to neglect on the part of the detainee's family.
"The US authorities carried out extensive interviews with members of the family of the so-called deceased," said Foreign Office spokesperson Millicent Gouge. "We believe they made every possible effort to gain information which would help the judgemental process."
Although conspiracy theorists would undoubtedly blame the CIA, Ms Gouge said, "the fact is that certain minority communities in this country - perhaps with good reason in the past - have developed a certain attitude of secretiveness and cliquishness which really does nobody more harm than themselves."
Once all the necessary tests have been made, the detainee will be shipped back to Britain in a standard-issue Rumsfeld & Rove Impenetrable™ defunct human resource receptacle. The next-of-kin have been informed that, in sympathy with their loss, the container will be blessed and permasealed at the detention centre, so that "the trauma of direct visual contact with the so-called deceased, and consequent risk of litigation against the American military, can be duly minimised."
Approximately twenty people with British passports are being held at Guatánamo Bay, where hindrance by the fanatical quasi-socialist Cuban government prevents conditions from being kept as humane as the Americans would prefer. There are also several hundred American inmates, and about a dozen with nationalities of no particular consequence.
Three times winner of the Guardian Media Group Award for Nuance
One of the British citizens said to have died in America's Guatánamo Bay detention centre is to be returned home as soon as US authorities can establish that he isn't faking, the Foreign Office has announced.
The detainee, whose name cannot be revealed for security reasons, suffered an apparently fatal injury the nature of which is believed to be due to neglect on the part of the detainee's family.
"The US authorities carried out extensive interviews with members of the family of the so-called deceased," said Foreign Office spokesperson Millicent Gouge. "We believe they made every possible effort to gain information which would help the judgemental process."
Although conspiracy theorists would undoubtedly blame the CIA, Ms Gouge said, "the fact is that certain minority communities in this country - perhaps with good reason in the past - have developed a certain attitude of secretiveness and cliquishness which really does nobody more harm than themselves."
Once all the necessary tests have been made, the detainee will be shipped back to Britain in a standard-issue Rumsfeld & Rove Impenetrable™ defunct human resource receptacle. The next-of-kin have been informed that, in sympathy with their loss, the container will be blessed and permasealed at the detention centre, so that "the trauma of direct visual contact with the so-called deceased, and consequent risk of litigation against the American military, can be duly minimised."
Approximately twenty people with British passports are being held at Guatánamo Bay, where hindrance by the fanatical quasi-socialist Cuban government prevents conditions from being kept as humane as the Americans would prefer. There are also several hundred American inmates, and about a dozen with nationalities of no particular consequence.
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