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The leader of the British Exit Europe Party (BEEP), Mr Robert Kilroy-Silk, is to sue a national broadcasting firm for its unflattering coverage of his parliamentary appearances. Mr Kilroy-Silk claims he was made to look "unduly ridiculous" by the House Party Cable firm, which shows 24-hour live coverage of the Houses of Parliament, including MPs' private offices.
Several MPs have sued HPC before. Percy Urquhart Purulent, the Member for Gutward and Slopping, was awarded £35,000 in damages for a remark made by the HPC commentator during coverage of a midnight meeting between Mr Purulent and his private secretary. The commentator stated that the pair were "discussing foreign policy", despite the fact that only Mr Purulent's heaving bare buttocks were visible at the time. The unfounded assertion that Mr Purulent, a junior vice-assistant at the Ministry of Executive Considerations, might be discussing matters outside his department's remit was found to be gratuitously damaging to his reputation.
Mr Kilroy-Silk is suing the network because of what he calls its "inadequate attention to chromatographic coordination", which, the BEEP leader asserts, made his smoothly tanned face appear an unappetising shade of orange to viewers in several regions.
Captive breeding of cod for general consumption will be phased out from next year, the Government has announced. The fish, which was once a staple of unhealthy diets in the north of England, has been in decline in the wild for several decades. Environmental campaigners claim that overfishing and pollution are to blame for the fact that many of the remaining stocks have too many heads to be edible. The British Government blames unauthorised trawling by Icelandic and Norwegian fishermen.
Cod have been bred successfully in captivity for ten years, but the farms are now too expensive to run. Half will be closed down with the loss of 12,000 jobs. The Ministry of Food says it hopes most of the redundancies will be voluntary, but troops will be standing by in case of problems. The remaining fish farms will be sold to private companies, which are unlikely to continue breeding cod when the lucrative trout and salmon markets beckon from the USA.
Futures traders wishing to profit unfairly from the revelations contained herein are invited to apply to the reporter with appropriate incentives
The leader of the British Exit Europe Party (BEEP), Mr Robert Kilroy-Silk, is to sue a national broadcasting firm for its unflattering coverage of his parliamentary appearances. Mr Kilroy-Silk claims he was made to look "unduly ridiculous" by the House Party Cable firm, which shows 24-hour live coverage of the Houses of Parliament, including MPs' private offices.
Several MPs have sued HPC before. Percy Urquhart Purulent, the Member for Gutward and Slopping, was awarded £35,000 in damages for a remark made by the HPC commentator during coverage of a midnight meeting between Mr Purulent and his private secretary. The commentator stated that the pair were "discussing foreign policy", despite the fact that only Mr Purulent's heaving bare buttocks were visible at the time. The unfounded assertion that Mr Purulent, a junior vice-assistant at the Ministry of Executive Considerations, might be discussing matters outside his department's remit was found to be gratuitously damaging to his reputation.
Mr Kilroy-Silk is suing the network because of what he calls its "inadequate attention to chromatographic coordination", which, the BEEP leader asserts, made his smoothly tanned face appear an unappetising shade of orange to viewers in several regions.
Captive breeding of cod for general consumption will be phased out from next year, the Government has announced. The fish, which was once a staple of unhealthy diets in the north of England, has been in decline in the wild for several decades. Environmental campaigners claim that overfishing and pollution are to blame for the fact that many of the remaining stocks have too many heads to be edible. The British Government blames unauthorised trawling by Icelandic and Norwegian fishermen.
Cod have been bred successfully in captivity for ten years, but the farms are now too expensive to run. Half will be closed down with the loss of 12,000 jobs. The Ministry of Food says it hopes most of the redundancies will be voluntary, but troops will be standing by in case of problems. The remaining fish farms will be sold to private companies, which are unlikely to continue breeding cod when the lucrative trout and salmon markets beckon from the USA.
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