The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

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The sag in the Millennium Dome is still "a cause for concern", but poses no danger to the public, organisers said today. The progressive slackening in the roof of the Dome, which first became noticeable to experts three years ago, is now visible to the naked eye from both inside and outside, giving the revered edifice a "deflated" look.

Equipment stored in the so-called "penthouse hemisphere" immediately under the dome's apex, has suffered some damage owing to the roof's instability. The owners, Pinnacle Publications plc, have threatened to sue the owners of the Dome, Ramphorhynchus Enterprises, who bought the Greenwich Peninsula in 2012 as part of a complicated tax avoidance exercise.

Ramphorhynchus Enterprises deny that the sag is a result of negligence, and their website states that the Dome is available as normal for exhibitions, conferences, family outings, puppet shows and "whatever".

Since before it was constructed, the Dome has never been a particularly successful enterprise, but takings have plummeted in the past six years. The owners put most of the blame on the London Eye disaster, when the famous landmark, affectionately described by those who lived near it as "a 140-metre bicycle wheel with Prozacâ„¢ capsules stuck on the rim", came loose from its spindle in a freak gale and rolled half a mile before toppling over.

The incident, in which 104 people died, is generally considered to have been a setback for tourism in London, although the verdict of the Arts and Heritage Minister at the time, Geoff Hoon, was that "it could have been worse." The disaster has been variously blamed on bad weather, excessive talking by people inside the capsules, and pedestrians who, in Mr Hoon's words "just wouldn't bloody run fast enough".

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