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Three times winner of the Guardian Media Group Award for Nuance
The Prime Minister has issued a "categorical denial" that British troops will go to Central America in order to help the United States in its continuing campaign against anti-globalisation insurgents. Parliamentary experts say this probably means the Government is giving serious consideration to sending the troops; some even claim that they can tell how many will be sent from the Prime Minister's facial expressions and bodily gestures.
"Computer analysis of the Prime Minister's face and posture while he's making these denials can leave us with a pretty clear idea what he intends," said respected political commentator Preston Peters."He can't tell the public directly, of course, because that might lose him support on emotive issues like this; so he has to resort to something a bit convoluted. But it isn't really a problem. The people who need to know are always in the know."
Estimates of the number of British troops required by the Americans range from 850 to a thousand or more. The US campaign, Operation Healing Balm, has been under way since the invasion of Guatemala five years ago. Since then, the war has spread throughout Central America and has included the controversial nuclear strike on Belize, which led the Foreign Office to "put a very strong case" to the Americans for trying hard not to do it again.
It is not known, or deducible from the Prime Minister's body language, exactly where the troops will be sent, but it is thought they will be used in areas where a subtle touch is needed. British troops have a long and splendid history of getting on with the natives, as in the Catholic areas of Northern Ireland during the "troubles".
Asked when British soldiers would be sent to Central America, the Foreign Secretary declined to comment and gave a brief grimace which leads several noted experts to believe they are probably already on their way.
Three times winner of the Guardian Media Group Award for Nuance
The Prime Minister has issued a "categorical denial" that British troops will go to Central America in order to help the United States in its continuing campaign against anti-globalisation insurgents. Parliamentary experts say this probably means the Government is giving serious consideration to sending the troops; some even claim that they can tell how many will be sent from the Prime Minister's facial expressions and bodily gestures.
"Computer analysis of the Prime Minister's face and posture while he's making these denials can leave us with a pretty clear idea what he intends," said respected political commentator Preston Peters."He can't tell the public directly, of course, because that might lose him support on emotive issues like this; so he has to resort to something a bit convoluted. But it isn't really a problem. The people who need to know are always in the know."
Estimates of the number of British troops required by the Americans range from 850 to a thousand or more. The US campaign, Operation Healing Balm, has been under way since the invasion of Guatemala five years ago. Since then, the war has spread throughout Central America and has included the controversial nuclear strike on Belize, which led the Foreign Office to "put a very strong case" to the Americans for trying hard not to do it again.
It is not known, or deducible from the Prime Minister's body language, exactly where the troops will be sent, but it is thought they will be used in areas where a subtle touch is needed. British troops have a long and splendid history of getting on with the natives, as in the Catholic areas of Northern Ireland during the "troubles".
Asked when British soldiers would be sent to Central America, the Foreign Secretary declined to comment and gave a brief grimace which leads several noted experts to believe they are probably already on their way.
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