News 2020
Putting the wind up the first draft of history
Three times winner of the Guardian Media Group Award for Nuance
Recently declassified documents show that the 1999 military intervention in what is now the Panslavonic Protectorate may simply have added to the region's problems, at least in the short term.
Members of the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation, one of the precursors of the Holy Alliance, carried out a 78-day bombing campaign in the disintegrating failed state of Yugoslavonia. The action was one of the first humanitarian interventions in history, and was greeted with effusions of joy and wonder from all over the world. Lord Blair of Belmarsh, in his memoirs In All Humility, referred to it as "one of the many acts of constructive co-operation in which, I truly believe, God and myself may properly take some small degree of pride."
The bombing was undertaken to prevent a humanitarian catastrophe as marauding Serbian hordes engaged in "ethnic cleansing" of Bosnian Muslims, it was claimed. But documents newly released under the Freedom of Information Act show that the situation was not quite so clear-cut, and that the bombing may ironically have triggered the very humanitarian crisis it was trying so valiantly to prevent.
"This is certainly a tragically ironic revelation," said former Guardian newspaper editor Allan Fusbudget from his luxury secure retirement home. "If only the press had known some of these facts at the time, a great deal of unnecessary bloodshed might have been prevented."
Much of the information contained in the government documents was released into the public domain at the time. However, the media were unable to give any credence to the facts as the sources were mostly left-wing intellectuals who contradicted official press releases.
The in sarcophago trial of Slobodan Milosevic's frozen cadaver resumed last week after a five-year recession caused by Mr Milosevic's death. The United States and Britain have been pressing for a resumption of the trial for some time, perhaps partly as an object lesson to certain disruptive elements in the Panslavonic Protectorate who claim that the West is exploiting the region for its own ends.
Three times winner of the Guardian Media Group Award for Nuance
Recently declassified documents show that the 1999 military intervention in what is now the Panslavonic Protectorate may simply have added to the region's problems, at least in the short term.
Members of the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation, one of the precursors of the Holy Alliance, carried out a 78-day bombing campaign in the disintegrating failed state of Yugoslavonia. The action was one of the first humanitarian interventions in history, and was greeted with effusions of joy and wonder from all over the world. Lord Blair of Belmarsh, in his memoirs In All Humility, referred to it as "one of the many acts of constructive co-operation in which, I truly believe, God and myself may properly take some small degree of pride."
The bombing was undertaken to prevent a humanitarian catastrophe as marauding Serbian hordes engaged in "ethnic cleansing" of Bosnian Muslims, it was claimed. But documents newly released under the Freedom of Information Act show that the situation was not quite so clear-cut, and that the bombing may ironically have triggered the very humanitarian crisis it was trying so valiantly to prevent.
"This is certainly a tragically ironic revelation," said former Guardian newspaper editor Allan Fusbudget from his luxury secure retirement home. "If only the press had known some of these facts at the time, a great deal of unnecessary bloodshed might have been prevented."
Much of the information contained in the government documents was released into the public domain at the time. However, the media were unable to give any credence to the facts as the sources were mostly left-wing intellectuals who contradicted official press releases.
The in sarcophago trial of Slobodan Milosevic's frozen cadaver resumed last week after a five-year recession caused by Mr Milosevic's death. The United States and Britain have been pressing for a resumption of the trial for some time, perhaps partly as an object lesson to certain disruptive elements in the Panslavonic Protectorate who claim that the West is exploiting the region for its own ends.
2 Comments:
At 10:46 pm ,
Raoul Djukanovic said...
Dear Doctor,
Your latest offering constitutes an outrageous slur on the well-meaning folk of the White Jeep Brigades, whose partisan quest for Utopianisation was, like my own, sacrificed on the tombstone of Milos Obilic.
As any serious student of dialectics would appreciate, your debasement of such well remunerated ethics is but a sop to the sentimentality of the post-colonial era. Enough of these calumnies against the Black Hand of international humanitarianism; I can only conclude that your correspondent must be afflicted by a new strain of Sarajevo syndrome, or perhaps the dance of St. Vitus Day.
I strongly recommend a Turbofolk detox.
Yours from the heart of my bottom,
Zoran Djindjic (deceased)
At 1:00 am ,
Philip said...
Sirrah
Thank you for your comments. We are always pleased to receive feedback, however ignorant and incomprehensible it may be. For your information, our correspondent is a fully-accredited member of the White Jeep Press Corps and has never learned a word of srpskohrvatski for fear of losing his objectivity. He also finds that the consonantal clusters make his tongue go spontaneously into granny-knots, but that is hardly relevant. He informs me that he does not know of any Miller's Obelisk in the Protectorate and that Turbofolk sing like spotted dogs compared with oldies like Franz Ferdinand. I must therefore conclude that you are not altogether whom you claim to be, and can only recommend that you try to get your message across via other séances and through other media.
Yours sincerely
The Editor
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