The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

News 2020

All the news that will be news around the world around fifteen years from now

We regret that we cannot be held responsible if the future turns out differently due to inaccuracies in the present

Russian scientists attempting to create the first living woolly rhinocerous in over ten thousand years are being sued by the American motion picture corporation Murdoch Universal Distributors. The scientists, led by Dr Marta Dobkouska, are dependent on American technology for the process of recreating the animal from the genetic material of the preserved woolly rhino recently uncovered by the retreat of the Arctic ice cap. MUD claims "intellectual primacy" for the idea of cloning prehistoric creatures, as depicted in the 1993 film Jurassic Park.

"This lawsuit is simply an attempt to destroy our work," Dr Dobkouska claimed. "Everyone knows that the idea of cloning is much older than this film." However, under US intellectual property laws, information can be copyrighted by whoever is first to register a claim to it, whereupon unathorised users can be sued for copyright theft.

Dr Dobkouska's laboratories have only been able to get this far with their work because they managed to copyright the genetic material of the Arctic rhinocerous in time. Several western corporations, including Macdonalds and Laboratoires Garnier, narrowly missed out on claiming ownership. Dr Dobkouska suspects that MUD's demand for massive punitive damages (thought to be in the region of $20 billion) is an attempt to punish her team for being first past the primacy post.

In a further development, it has emerged that Michael Crichton, who wrote the novel on which the film Jurassic Park was based, is suing Murdoch Universal Distributors for a share in any proceeds they may receive from the copyright lawsuit. The 78-year-old author successfully sued the estate of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle for copyright violation last year, thanks to Doyle's having used the title The Lost World for a 1912 novel of the same name. Mr Crichton used the title for his sequel to Jurassic Park, and managed to secure the intellectual property rights in the United States. Mr Crichton's lawyers claimed after the verdict that, thanks to this lawsuit, by 2025 Mr Crichton would be acknowledged as the creator of Sherlock Holmes.

2 Comments:

  • At 5:07 pm , Blogger Bobby said...

    but that happened so long ago in the future

     
  • At 5:51 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Yes, but that makes it all the more recent in the past, i.e. the present.

     

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