Imitation Duncan Smith

Expenses claimants including the ever-brilliant Iain Duncan Smith and the former Minister for Richard Desmond are fearful for the state of British democracy. While the Conservatives have starved local authorities of funding, disenfranchised many with unnecessary ID checks, and may yet time the election to deprive a few thousand students of the vote, the Heathen Chinee have actually been interfering with British democracy. In typically insidious and treacherous fashion, they have done so using those Babbage computating contraptions with which the British establishment has endured such a long and difficult relationship. One agent was even sufficiently fiendish to imitate Duncan Smith, and it's to be hoped that the agent in question was adequately compensated for their patriotic sacrifice of so many dozen IQ points.

It is of course unprecedented for any nation to attempt the furtherance of its own interests by influencing the internal affairs of another; and recent reforms at the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs, Huns and Hottentots have ensured that Britain's capacity for damage has been to some extent turned back upon its own less deserving subjects. Nevertheless, the righteous indignation of His Majesty's Government has gained moral support from the United States, whose disinterested concern for the sovereignty of lesser breeds is so legendary as to be virtually mythical. If gerrymandering, tax cuts and the War on Woke aren't enough to swing the general election, a war for Western civilisation against the Yellow Peril might just manage it.