The Curmudgeon


Tuesday, November 26, 2013

On Safari

In order to try and counteract the effect of his recent "green crap" policy statement, Britain's Head Boy has decided to have a bit of a burble about the illegal wildlife trade. Daveybloke has invited fifty heads of state to a summit in February so that he can highlight links between wildlife poaching and the magic words, terrorism and threats to national security. Clearly Britain's Head Boy objects rather strongly to the poaching of endangered species; although equally clearly he has no particular objection to letting corporate big-gamers burn up their living space. There is a growing demand for bits of rare animals among the Asian middle classes, and Britain's Head Boy sees no particular reason why affluent Asians should be permitted to behave as irresponsibly as affluent Europeans have behaved for a couple of centuries or more. The summit will be chaired by the Minister for Wogs, Frogs and Huns, Willem den Haag; and the secretary for the environment, Owen Paterson, has visited Kenya and seen some dead elephants; which shows exactly how seriously the Bullingdon Club is taking the issue. It is to be hoped, at least, that someone got through to Paterson the likelihood that the elephants were not killed by badgers.


  • At 10:41 pm , Blogger David OBrien said...

    I don't suppose changing the prevailing economic conditions in the relevant countries is on the agenda then? And does the line 'Paterson visited Kenya this month and saw elephants killed by poachers' mean that he was there watching them do it?

    I'll wager this 'unprecedented political commitment' will have precisely NO EFFECT. But then again, it is just an 'aim'.

  • At 10:50 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Strangely enough, on first seeing that line about Paterson my own thought was much the same. I had an image of him standing there while the elephants were shot and perhaps having a friendly discussion with the poachers about the relative merits of gas and steel traps in dealing with excess pachyderms.


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