Summer of Love

Doubling down on one's crimes is the privilege of those who will never stand trial. When the USSR doesn't collapse, declare war on the USA; when Vietnam proves recalcitrant, assault Cambodia as well; when your genocide in Gaza needs a boost, try and start World War III with Iran. In a similar spirit of repentance and humility, the Church of Rome, whose record of nurturing the young makes Epstein-Maxwell Youth Services, Inc. look like something from Benjamin Spock, has declared a Jubilee of Youth. Accordingly, more than eight hundred thousand bags of buzzing hormones assembled outside Rome yesterday for a rock-star rah-rah with the Pope, which climaxed a week of church-approved festivities. Among the more spiritual of these were the assembly of two hundred confessional booths at the Circus Maximus, so that the devout could grovel to the god of Leo where their forebears were thrown to toothier lions; and a video message from la ducetta Meloni in honour of the close and long-held bond between the Church and Fascist Italy.