Tomorrow Tallinn, Wednesday the World

As the Parliamentary Labour Party is all too aware, being a government in waiting is more than just a matter of complaining that immigrants aren't being deported quickly enough, or promising to manage far-right policy more efficiently than the Conservatives, or even lying one's way into leadership. In addition to these noble pragmaticisms, one must ensure, in accordance with the eternal values of sensible moderationism, that the best armed services in the world (spoiler: the British ones) are not unduly distracted from their world-beating vocation. Hence the shadow Minister for Wog-Bombing has been lecturing the incumbent lest the eminently sensible and moderate practice of using troops as strike-breakers should leave Britain's Baltic bulwark in the hands of the allies, rather than of the master race proper. Under such circumstances, and with his own armed forces famously in tip-top form, who knows what the fiend Putin might attempt? Fortunately, one or two anonymoids were on duty to provide reassurances that British troops would not be forced to bail out the NHS if the Ministry didn't feel like it.