Had We But Known You Were Legitimate Wogs

Compassionate Conservatism has triumphed in the case of the Zimbabwean family who were refused visas by the Ministry for Wog Control on the grounds that they might use a five-year-old girl's funeral as an excuse to claim benefits and steal British jobs. According to James Brokenshire, the heroic Home Office cockroach who refused the original application, the family has "provided new information" after Britain's Head Boy promised to pull a few strings and either was rebuffed by the mad old cat lady or found himself too busy helping the little woman with her tax returns. Anyway, it just goes to show that if wogs play straight with the Home Office then the Home Office will be fair to the wogs, provided only that they have the backing of their community, the good wishes of a couple of churches, and the moral force provided by a local MP in an election year.