More Sunlight on Nigel's Uplands

Those who recall the shifting justifications for Brexit (It'll solve all our problems! Well, at least most of our problems! Well, at least some of our problems! Well, at least it'll get the wogs out! Well, at least it hasn't turned out quite so badly as the absolute worst that was predicted!) will not be surprised that the godfather of our national triumph is proving equally flexible in justifying his acceptance of a substantial expatriate squillionaire bung. The strutting Caudillo of the Farage Falange originally claimed that the money was to hire goons to protect him against dusky types armed with milkshakes, but has now changed his story to claim that it was a reward for twenty-seven years of campaigning against the beastly Euro-wogs. However that may be, the man of the people spent at least some of the money in solidarity with victims of the housing shortage, by adding one more to the quantity of his non-constituency residences. A parliamentary inquiry is under way to determine whether such rules as remain have been seriously breached; if it turns out that they have, the voters of Clacton may be given an early opportunity to make dupes of themselves once again.