Vital Necessities for Hard-Working Families

It has long been evident that Team Starmer is in no particular hurry to re-establish close links with the EU, except in the sacred causes of wog-bombing and refugee-kicking, for fear of alienating the vital Farage Falange demographic. Nevertheless, the moderate grown-upness of the centrist sensibility dictates that Team Starmer shall not utilise our great nation's liberation from the beastly Euro-wogs towards any goal so imprudent as taking back control of trade policy. The administration that condoned the Gaza cleansing and took eighteen months to decide that reducing child poverty might be just about permissible is hardly likely to balk at animal cruelty; so a pledge to ban imports of fur and foie gras has joined the ever-growing heap of manifesto commitments that would constitute too much of a change. Although a majority of Britons would prefer their famously sovereign parliament to stop the import of products involving cruelty to animals, the party of the National Johnson found that idea even less palatable than the thought of kowtowing to the Strasbrussels dictatorship; which clearly settles the question as far as Team Starmer is concerned. Of course, Team Starmer is often accused of being directionless and of ducking important issues; and it is to be hoped that the policy of standing shoulder to shoulder with all working people who consume fur coats and foie gras will expose this liverish canard once and for all.