Economic Paralysis

Team Starmer has continued the Conservatives' programme of cutbacks to global healthcare initiatives, because more money is needed for wog-bombing and because raising taxes on those who can afford to pay them would constitute an unpardonable breach of post-ministerial career prospects. Complementing this moral case is the undeniably pragmatic fact that unhealthy wogs are usually easier to bomb, particularly when the defender of civilisation is armed with the sacred right to attack hospitals with impunity. Even so, the sensible moderation of the policy has not forestalled certain little ironies in its execution, as when the polio virus appeared in London less than a week before the UK withdrew funding for polio eradication among the lesser breeds. Whatever else may be lacking in the talent puddle that is Team Starmer, the Britishness of its comic timing remains resolutely undiminished.