Rolling In It

Rolls-Royce, that iconically British manufacturer of luxury vehicles and wog-bombing power, has just announced record profits and a substantial splurge for the shareholders; so naturally its chief executive considers this an opportune moment to demand a handout from the taxpayer. The money would be for a new commercial jet engine, which the company apparently hopes will enable it to break into a lucrative new market before the AI slop centre bubble bursts. Happily for the nation's new-found economic efficiency, Rolls-Royce is also building a small blanched radioactive pachyderm in Wales, for which the taxpayer has been charged two and a half billion and which is expected within five years to start making money for Rolls-Royce.