Sane Enough For Some

The latest and least auspicious defection to the Farage Falange from its malformed and retarded parliamentary twin seems to have caused a brief moral lapse by the latter, which chose to snigger at Suella Braverman not on racial or sexual grounds, but on those of mental illness. Self-evidently, Braverman is neither poor enough nor Muslim enough to be considered Just Plain Evil; but the implication that the Conservative Party had been looking after her mental health was dangerous enough to bring about a rapid retraction. A show of concern for mental health in the workplace is about as likely to lure back the Farage Falange demographic as a facility for foreign languages or a preference for history over rah-rah.

Meanwhile, the nation's other main purveyors of Conservative policy frowned and tutted their disapproval. Something at Team Starmer's Ministry for Wog Control huffed and puffed about British values as if addressing a school assembly; while a spokesbeing for the Farage Falange proclaimed that it went without saying that Braverman could never have been diagnosed with a mental health condition: she is, for goodness' sake, a barrister with a Cambridge education. So self-evident was this reasoning that any assertion to the contrary was a gross affront to those patriotic millions whose robust common sense and unerring contact with reality have got the master race and the Farage Falange where they are today.