Just Rewards

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that capitalism's beasts of burden have only one valid reason for objecting to the policies of their drivers and owners; namely that the policies are inadequately propagandised. Taking to heart the warnings of Wideboy Wesley Streeting, who recently advised Team Starmer to improve its sales patter, the Investment Association has warned against awarding large executive pay hikes without giving an adequate excuse. The standard pretext at the moment is "benchmarking," whereby adding the extra zeroes to the boardroom incentive is deemed necessary to protect bosses from the moral burden of turning themselves into economic migrants. Team Starmer's own use of a magical boilerplate tagline, viz. "pending approval by the Farage Falange demographic," has arguably not quite achieved the desired results; and the IA has advised that companies too should deign to explain themselves a bit further now and then, if only to keep the shareholders from feeling as if they're being treated like mere taxpayers.