Native Intelligence

Following the gunshot wounding of two National Guard rookies in Washington DC, the CIA has predictably confirmed that the Biden administration is to blame. The suspected culprit is an immigrant from Afghanistan who received his visa four years ago in recognition of services rendered to various US agencies, including the CIA, before they fled the Taliban with their tails between their legs. Mindful of the perils inherent in failing to overreact, the US agency for the expulsion of huddled masses has halted processing of residency applications by Afghan nationals, although it remains as yet unclear whether all CIA assets will be subject to similar treatment.