Dieu et son droit

His Majesty's Government is deeply concerned over allegations that Jeffrey Epstein's princely chum tried to use his taxpayer-funded police bodyguard to research his accuser. In order to avoid distracting the little people from his family's hard work and self-sacrifice, the prince has graciously agreed not to use the titles His Royal Highness or Duke of York while remaining a prince and a duke; and it seems that the response to this latest embarrassment may eventually be almost as rigorous. While a minister in His Majesty's Government has conceded that the allegations merit looking into, when determining whether consequences will occur His Majesty's Government will naturally be guided by the royals, because it's called His Majesty's Government for a reason. Anything further than the current guidance would require an Act of Parliament, and the House of Windsor is too modest, too self-effacing and too ardent in public service to endure the prospect of giving the Commons that sort of trouble.